will it stop hurting so much? Many of the people
we see at Family Therapy Associates tell us that
the pain of losing a loved one is unbearable. Some
say they find it hard to breathe, others say they
feel like it is a bad dream and they are waiting
to wake up. Many say they are “just numb” others
feel “splintered” and some say they will never be
the same again.
If you have experienced the death
of a loved one you may identify with one or more
of those comments or you may express your pain entirely
differently. You also know that this may be one
of the most difficult and stressful times of your
Whether your loss is recent or
some time has passed since the death, your feelings
and emotions are valid. How many well meaning suggestions
have you heard on how you should “move on or get
over it”? Loss is personal, so is healing.
So how are you feeling?
Ask yourself the following questions:
• Am I experiencing sadness, anger,
anxiety, guilt, or despair?
• Am I feeling alone and isolated even when I am
• Am I experiencing changes in my sleep patterns?
• Am I experiencing changes in my appetite?
• Am I feeling numbness and shock?
If you answered “yes” to some
or all of these questions remember that it is “normal”
to experience these emotions as part of the grieving
So if it is “normal” how will you know
that it is time to seek professional help?
you unable to cope with daily routines?
• You just don’t “feel” anything?
• Have you been grieving for over a year?
• Are you feeling sad all of the time?
• Are you experiencing suicidal thoughts?
• Is there a major change in your weight
(either loss or gain)?
• Are you having continual difficulty
• Has food lost its taste?
• Are you experiencing prolonged emotional
• Are you feeling that friends and even
family are “losing patience”?
• Do you “just feel numb”?
Perhaps now you are wondering
“how” professional help would be useful for you.
Many of our clients tell us that we
have been helpful because:
- We listen to their story, their experience
and their pain.
- We are interested in their relationship with
the person who died, and how their religious,
cultural, and personal beliefs affect the way
they experience grief for their loved one.
- We understand the impact this has on the entire
family and we help them get through this very
difficult time by offering a supportive, caring,
and non-judgmental environment.
- We offer possibilities for healing yet respect
their right to choose “what fits for them”.
- We respect that there is no “right” or “wrong”
way to grieve and that everyone copes with loss
in their own way and at their own pace.
- We are “there” when well meaning family and
friends are too close to the situation to be helpful
this has touched you or someone you love remember
it is very important to seek out people who understand
your loss. You have cherished memories with your
loved one that hopefully will offer you comfort.
The process of bereavement will not happen quickly.
Allow yourself the time you need to grieve your
loss, and create a special place in your heart to
keep your memories alive.
One more note. We have focused on
grief and loss of a loved one. This may include
a family member, a friend, or even a cherished family
pet. Loss and Grief knows no boundaries.
Please visit our FYIGuide Course “All About Grief and Loss”
... by clicking here
"Grief is a process, not a state."
- Anne Grant
When friends and family are just too close to your
situation to help,
call us at 954 -341 - 2555
or send a confidential email to: